Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’
Simple can be difficult
December 1st, 2008 | Author: Scribhneoir
I recently had the opportunity to sit in a group and work through some unresolved tension between some of the group members. The method used for relieving the tension was so simple – good communication.
Everyone spoke in turn, without interruption. People took their time, there was no rush, there was time to think about what you were saying. We all spoke about how we were affected by the situation thus avoiding the “you said” and “you did” elements which can be so unhelpful.
We realised how what we say and the tone used can be so easily misinterpreted. This can cause hurt, which if not aired can fester and lead to resentment.
It is not as simple as it sounds to sit and listen to each other without interruption and without the chance of an immediate come-back – which often just escalates a situation into an argument. The value of speaking in turn is that by the time it is your turn to speak you may no longer wish to say what you were expecting to say, you will have had to time to listen to others speak and this may well have changed how you see things and given you the opportunity to identify what you are really feeling.
There may be many rounds necessary to resolve a situation, you sit with it until it is finished. People sometimes ask – how long will this take? It takes as long as it takes!
It is also not often that people are courageous enough to really speak from the heart, to say how hurt they are feeling or vulnerable or frightened or angry. We are so often afraid to let others see how we really feel, we wear masks to protect ourselves, to hide behind. There are many reasons that we do this, it is a learnt behaviour. Perhaps in the past someone used our vulnerability against us or took advantage of our fear to frighten us further, whatever the reason we can unlearn this behaviour and learn a new way to be. Learning any new skill takes practise and to do this it helps to have people around us that we trust and feel safe with.
I would love for everyone have the opportunity to experience this sort of communication, to experience what it is like to sit through a situation which could very easily lead to confrontation but doesn’t, which allows everyone to speak their truth and to really hear each other.
Simple things can be really difficult – but it is worth it!
Posted in Community, Good Living, Ireland, Co Leitrim | 
Tags: Beauty Within Us, Healthy stuff, People, Relationships, Women | 
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Back Again
September 24th, 2008 | Author: Scribhneoir
Wow, it’s been ages since I’ve posted! What have you all been up to?
I have been helping out at an amazing week long workshop where eighteen guys were learning to build a wind turbine – how cool is that? The workshop was organised by a locally based couple, the Leitrim Renewable Energy people Eirbyte. They invited Hugh Piggot to come and teach people how to build one of the wonderful domestic wind turbines that he designs.
It was a really great week. I have rarely seen 18 people who never met each other before get along so well together. These were people who probably would have never chosen to spend any significant time together, never mind a week, for any other reason than to build a wind turbine and yet the crack was mighty, I haven’t heard that much laughter in ages.
Although ages ranged from early twenties to late sixties (at a guess) and a wide range of backgrounds and work experiences everyone worked so well together in small groups, in pairs and at times singly but always with humour and a great sharing of skills and knowledge.
Many different sets of skills were used, I saw people learn to carve wood with hand tools to create blades (propellers), some who hadn’t tried it before had a go at welding under the watchful eye of a great welding teacher, everyone had a go at winding coils of copper wire to make the alternator, there was grinding of metal and the setting of things in resin – so much activity over the week and it all culminated in the creation of a wonderful wind turbine at the end of the week.
Hugh was always available to answer questions and give advice, aided and assisted by Jimmy and Miriam, Sean and Niall who all mucked in to make the week what it was.
After all the technical stuff everyone ate together and shared their stories and on some evenings there was great music and storytelling and the telling of jokes and the singing of songs. Some of the food was cooked on an open fire in the garden and no-one went hungry or had to wait for their dinner – not bad when you consider that nearly thirty people with big appetites were being catered for every day.
Best of all the turbine was successfully built and ceremoniously raised on the saturday afternoon and the rain stopped! It is always so exciting to see a new turbine go up into the air and everyone waits for the first breath of wind to spin the blades and excitedly watches the metres to see what energy is being generated.
The energy generated by this turbine will run the lights in the house on the site where the workshop took place, it may also run the lights in the guest cabin. The new owners will learn to observe the weather differently now and be more aware of the wind. They will know where the wind is coming from and how hard it is blowing, they will begin to notice how often the wind does not blow and they will learn what they can expect to power from the turbine and how to look after their battery bank.
At least three new turbines are currently being built now by guys who were on the course and we are also building a new one for ourselves. We spend quite a bit of time on Sunday deciding where to site the new mast for the new turbine. We have a few new neighbours here recently and so we are moving the mast from where it was because we want to put up a slighlty higher mast, still within the planning permission exempt height but it would place the turbine in the direct path of our new neighbours, who probably bought their holiday houses here based on the view. So we thought it would be a good start to a neighbourly relationship to move the mast to a site where it will still get good wind and not cause any turbulence to the good energy we wish to have with our neighbours as well as the good energy being generated by the turbine.
So at the moment I am enjoying carving the wooden blades for our new turbine and if the weather holds we will get started with the mast installation and dig the new anchor holes for the guys which hold up the mast. Life is good.
How are things with you?
Posted in Community, Good Living, Ireland, Co Leitrim, Renewable Energy, Sustainability |
Tags: Relationships, Renewable Energy |
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Gathering With Women
August 21st, 2008 | Author: Scribhneoir
I am very much looking forward to this weekend. I am travelling to meet some wonderful women and we will spend the weekend together. We will listen to each other, talk about our selves and our experiences and cook together and walk on a beach. I cherish these women and these rare weekends.
I also hope that the weather will be good because a few of us will be camping. If I were to place my order with the weather-making gods I would ask that if they wish to make it rain could they please do so at night? It sounds so lovely to lie cosily in bed at night in a tent listening to the rain – as long as the tent is really waterproof!
Posted in Community, Good Living, Ireland, Co Leitrim |
Tags: Friends, Listening, Relationships, Women |
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